Don't get used to sleep. I thought for sure once Jack learned to sleep through the night, that would mean I would also get to go back to sleeping through the night. Nope. In my 33 years I have always been a sound sleeper. I've slept through many a storm and I've been known to block out the sound of television and the glare of lights if I'm tired enough. Put me in the passenger seat of a car and I'm out within the first thirty minutes of any long car ride. However, since Jack was born I have become the world's lightest sleeper, constantly listening for any sound or movement coming from my son's room. I am always on High Alert, ready to pop up and out of bed at a moment's notice in the event that Jack needs me. And need me he does, usually between the early morning hours of 5:30 and 7. I have forgotten what it is like to sleep in. Some of you may ask, "Why not nap while he is napping? Catch up on sleep that way" and in reply I laugh, uncontrollably (but quietly, because Jack is still sleeping). Nap while he is napping? How on earth do I do that? There are far too many things that need doing without an eight month old demanding my attention! So I have learned that as they say, there is no rest for the weary.
Don't get used to a clean house. There are toys scattered everywhere within five minutes of this kid waking. Seriously. And they stay there all day long. Until Aaron or I wearily put them away at 7 o'clock, after Jack has been tucked carefully into bed. After his toys are picked up, if you were to dare survey the rest of the house, you would probably spot my coffee mug from my morning Cup o' Joe, some laundry begging to be folded/put away/washed, a lone bib or burp cloth lying under a chair, remnants of whatever I managed to scarf down for lunch, and a thousand other clues as to what went on during our day. Every night we put these things away (except for the laundry...I swear I must do it at some time, but evidently not, because there is a never-ending pile of it in our laundry room) and the next day it happens all over again.
Don't get used to socializing. What's that? There are times when I go days without talking to a single soul other than Aaron and Jack. Most of the time, that's okay, but sometimes it drives me nuts. I find it beyond difficult to have a phone conversation and watch Jack at the same time. He is an attention hog, which I love, but I can't tell my sister about my day or text my friend a coherent sentence or two, sans spelling and grammatical errors, while Jack is trying to climb on me. I've found the best time to call people is while I'm in the car, although some may point out that it isn't fun to have a conversation with me while being intermittently interrupted by my road rage. (I need to work on that, I know.) When I do manage to talk or text, go out with friends, or go on a date night with the hubs, I do try to make the most out of it, because who knows when it will happen again!
Don't get used to the quiet. This house is rarely quiet anymore. Those peaceful mornings that I used to have, sipping a hot cup of coffee while curled up on the couch are gone. Poof! They've disappeared, along with quiet afternoons spent reading a good book. I love the sounds of my home, because they are usually filled with the babbles and giggles of an eight month old, but as the title of this blog implies, there are times when he is NOT giggling. In fact, there are many times throughout the day when Jack is crying his little heart out, while mine silently breaks as I try to console him with a bottle, a hug, a toy, or whatever his wants and needs of the moment are. We usually go from one extreme to the other, several times throughout the day.
That being said, the one thing I will never, ever get used to is the overwhelming sense of joy and the love I have for my son. My heart explodes every time I look at Jack, because he is absolutely perfect. I love the way he laughs; the way he smells (mostly); the way he babbles; the way he looks into my eyes and touches my face with his finger while I'm feeding him; the way he rests his head on my shoulder when he's tired; and how excited he gets every time he sees me or Aaron walk into the room. I never realized how much one tiny person could change our lives. These other things I write about are trivial, things that all changed the moment we brought Jack home. Yes, I miss sleeping in until eight on a Saturday morning, but I'm happy to give that and everything else up so I can be a momma to my sweet baby boy.
No comments:
Post a Comment